musical milliner

January 23, 2011

Incrociando a Sicurezza

It was one of those late Summer days that make you forget that the season is about to turn. We happily anticipate Winter’s run up to Spring, and even more so the advent of Summer and it’s promise of long restful days. This is especially true when you are the mother of not quite grown children. Their brains rest while their bodies grow.

The end of Summer is to be ignored. We live as if there is no tomorrow, but really, all we are doing is pretending. But so what? It’s Summer!

On this particular day, this glorious temperate day, I received a phone call that it was time. I had confided my fears to my friend about walking over the Golden Gate Bridge, something locals and tourist do en masse every day. I had tried many times to walk this bridge, only to stop in abject, paralyzing fear. Irrational but tangible feelings of panic overtook me. What if someone pushed me over the rail? What if the Hand of God or some thing plucked me from the walkway and tossed me into the bay?  I couldn’t do it. My kids thought nothing of riding their bikes over the bridge. I hid my shame and made excuses.

My friend saw this obstacle as a metaphor for my collective fears. He convinced me that here lay a strong symbolic force for stepping into my new life.

I couldn’t argue his point. In fact, I decided to embrace the challenge. Not that it was easy. You see, I was not only afraid, I was stuck within all those metaphors.

Could I trust him to hold on to me? Yes. Could I trust that he would not let me come to harm? Absolutely.

So I took control by surrendering control, and put myself, literally, into the arms of the one I love.

I stalled a few yards into the journey. He whispered to me, “The trolls are not there.”  We moved forward together, and after awhile I felt  my spirit lift. I felt okay. I was more than okay. I felt free!

In freedom was pleasure. The ordinary pleasure of taking a stroll over one of the world’s most iconic bridges,  framing a view of  this gorgeous place in which we live.

I conquered this phobic fear and moved my life forward, all at once, knowing that no matter the outcome of the hardship I was facing, I would be strong enough to take all that lay ahead. I reclaimed some misplaced self-esteem, and discovered through an abiding friendship that I could love again and be loved.

I had crossed to safety.

(c)GoshGusMusic(ascap) 2011

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4 Comments »

  1. Well said, and well done! You conquered the lurching Redwood trees on 101 too!

    Comment by Mary W. Farkas — January 23, 2011 @ 2:39 pm

  2. Funny how it all starts to transform once you let go and put one foot in front of the other. Sharing the journey with good friends is the only way to go. Love you.

    Comment by Musical Milliner — January 23, 2011 @ 3:24 pm

  3. MM, you are one of the strongest women I know, and it is a great honor to call you my friend. Faced with all the trials and tribulations of the past few years, you show the world that you are one classy lady, beautiful inside, outside- and your voice! OMG! Your voice!

    Comment by BFF — January 27, 2011 @ 10:28 pm

  4. Ah! my dear GF! The tide has indeed turned. More peace & pleasure, less anxiety and frustration. Surrounded by love, kindness and affection.
    You’ve helped me cross that bridge as well. Love you!
    MM

    Comment by Musical Milliner — January 27, 2011 @ 10:36 pm


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